3 Ideas in 2 Minutes on Being Too Agreeable
3 Ideas in 2 Minutes on Being Too Agreeable
Abilene Paradox, Reactive Devaluation & Irrelevant Disagreement
I. Abilene Paradox
Imagine yourself in Texas, USA. You’re bored out of your skull. And so is the rest of your family. To cut through the awkward silence, one family member suggests a trip to the small town of Abilene for dinner. Everyone seems to agree, so you go and pretend to enjoy the awful family trip. It’s only when you’re back home that everyone realises: Nobody wanted to go on that trip in the first place.
This phenomenon is called the Abilene Paradox: Sometimes, a group acts against its members‘ preferences even though everyone secretly agrees on how wrong a decision is. The will of the group is merely assumed. Nobody is keen on upsetting anyone by refusing to go with a decision.
The term was coined by management expert Jerry B. Harvey who related the above scenario in his 1974 article The Abilene Paradox: The Management of Agreement.
II. Reactive Devaluation
If you knew that a solution to a problem came from someone you despised, would you be more or less willing to agree to it? According to the idea of Reactive Devaluation, we judge a suggestion by the people who made them. We value the idea more if it comes from someone on our side. We devalue the idea when it comes from an enemy. Even though it’s the same idea.
The cognitive bias was originally proposed by psychologists Lee Ross and Constance Stillinger. In the late 1980s, they asked members of the public for their opinion on a nuclear disarmament plan. When people were told the suggestion came from U.S. President Ronald Reagan, 90% were in favour. When they thought the proposal came from Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, only 44% liked the plan.
III. Irrelevant Disagreement
Being too agreeable can be a difficult trait to live with. But perhaps we can find consolation in the following words:
The bad news is not everyone will agree with your opinions or decisions. The good news is it doesn't matter.
—Joseph Stalin1
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Have a great week,
Chris
themindcollection.com
P.S.: Check out my latest long-form post on how to ask good questions and my bonus newsletter for paid subscribers with five questions to avoid.
Actually, this quote has been attributed to physicist Richard Feynman. Sorry.